10 Things I Learned In the Past Few Days

1. Women must hate themselves and hate their feet more, because shoe shopping is just . . . I don't know, masochistic. Seriously - who wears these shoes??? I don't know any hookers, but there is no WAY most of these shoes can be worn while working at any other profession.
2. The only way Stupid and I can speak is when we don't realize who we are talking to. We almost ran into each other (literally), and we both said 'excuse me' and smiled - and then we realized who the other was after the fact . . . and both just kept walking. That is so fucked up, and sad as well.
3. The Bachelorette is painful to watch because the guys are pretty cute and all but one of them are going to get their hearts crushed.
4. It's also painful because Jillian is, well . . . kind of, like, dumb. But at least she's giving brunettes a place on prime time.
5. The Bachelorette is also hilarious to watch, because the guys are all dressed up and trying to impress Jillian, but when they all get into the same room, the claws come out and they start to strangely remind me of the insecure, catfighting girls on Rock of Love.
6. The only thing better than boarding a plane and escaping your evil boss is watching her board a plane to leave YOU.
7. If I ever get married, I'm doing the simplest, lowest maintenance wedding ever. Twenty minutes in David's Bridal on a Saturday morning made me realize I AM JUST NOT THAT GIRL.
8. Slippery slopes are hard to stop on. And even harder to climb back up.
9. Only calling while at a conference, blaming a 'messed up cell phone,' and disappearing for weeks at a time, are causes for suspicion. I think there's a girlfriend.
10. Second kisses are definitely better than first ones. :)

March Madness!

Well, it's been an adventurous couple months and it's definitely killing the buzz to be back home. The work trip was safe and fun . . . highlights included:

• Steelers winning the Superbowl!
• Fun work activities and getting to see some really cool s***.
• Learning to bartend (or at least trying!).
• Birthday involving Johnnie Walker Blue and a field trip with a cute youngin', who bought me coffee and a birthday card.
• Meeting some really awesome people.
• Interviewing for three potential new jobs.
• Someone wanting the privilege to call me "Sexy Cannoli."

And of course, the quotes:

• "He's too big to fight. I'm just gonna shoot him."
• "It's not a purse. It's a 'go-bag.'"
• "Duck, Duck. This is Goose. How copy? Don't make me chase you down!"
• "I've got socks older than you are!"
• "Don't use a person's head as a clearing barrel."
• "He's partially retarded, but he's one of my guys, so I have to love him."
• "For this thing that hasn't happened yet, that's supposed to happen, what's the status?"
• "Don't shoot the messenger. She'll shoot back."

When I got home, I had my sister and her boyfreind visit from Montana. We had a great time that included watching the Penguins beat the Capitals in a shootout, going out for sushi, playing pool, touring DC, and home salon hair treatments. I made sure to get them stuck in some crowds and traffic jams so they could appreciate the lack of population overcrowding when they go home!

After they left, it was time for VEGAS!!!! West Coast Party Girl (WCPG) and I met at our hotel and partied straight for 4 days, including St. Patrick's Day. We hit Pure, the Pussycat Doll Lounge, Ghostbar and Moon at the Palms, Eye Candy, Carnival Court, and Nine Fine Irishmen. We saw David Copperfield and the Blue Man Group. We relaxed by the pool and had a spa day. We met and partied with guys from England, Chicago, Colorado, Arizona, and Wisconsin, who ranged in age from 24 to 35. We spent St. Patrick's walking the Strip, ducking into different bars, and settled at Nine Fine Irishmen for the U2 cover band to end the night. Ahhh, Vegas. How I love thee. So much fun and I love WCPG for putting it all together and being my favorite bad influence! Oh, and introducing me to "I Love College." We changed the words to "I Love Vegas."

So now I am home from all my travels, battling a cold and sorting through a million pictures and emails. Managed to make good on plans made about a month ago for a belated birthday dinner at a Russian place downtown (feed a cold, right?) followed by dessert at a new-to-me spot called CoCo. I think I'm going to bake some cookies and maybe go shopping tomorrow. A lazy weekend to get me ready for work on Monday. I wish I didn't have to go back. Oh well, must work to be able to afford to play.

Goals for the Immediate Future:

1. Drink less. It's been a fun couple years but it's time to grow up a bit.

2. Work hard and lots so as to not get on evil boss's radar any more than I have to.

3. Enjoy my friends.

4. Keep apartment more clean.

Adios for now!

Go! Go! Go!

God looks out for me. Just when I was starting to feel hopeless about the year, I have been given the chance for a little escape. It's a preview of a job for which I've already applied, and it will probably look really good that I intervew for it while I'm actually doing it. So I am leaving for a while. And my trip to Vegas is tacked on the end of it so I'm gone for a little longer than I originally thought! Yippee!

O reader, you know how much I enjoy my work trips. But I think this one just might save my sanity. I've been working like a slave since October, and despite the holidays, which have their own form of stress, I haven't had a change of scenery. Well, this trip should do the trick. Again, I marvel at my ability to seek and find relaxation in places where I receive hazard pay.

I feel proud of myself because last week, I walked over to Stupider and congratulated her on the baby. I couldn't resist throwing in a little sarcasm, but it wasn't bad (I led off the conversation with "So! I guess the word is out, huh?" in a veiled attempt to chide her for their juvenile secrecy). She seemed annoyed. I was sincerely happy for her and she still couldn't get off her high horse. Oh well. I did what I wanted to do and it made me feel much better.

I've been flirting with someone who because of work arrangements, is totally off limits . . . grr, it's so frustrating. He is a really great person and we talk whenever we can without breaking any rules. Then we say our goodbyes and he gives me a wink and a smile. Argh! Both of us want to hang out outside of work, but if we got busted, he could lose his job, which he loves. So we have to stand down . . . but I wish he'd quit being flirty, it makes it really difficult. Maybe we're both getting a high off just being of interest to each other to make work more exciting.

In other news, I am so excited for the Super Bowl that when I arrive at my destination, I'm going to stay up all friggin' night to watch it. My Terrible Towel will be my traveling companion. I am so proud of my Steelers! I am pretty sure we are going to clean house, but if we don't, I'm glad it would be a loss to a team with a decent man for a quarterback and a story behind their season. A worthy adversary.

The Inaguration coverage is still on. Analysis of everything from Cheney in the wheelchair (" . . . it was almost Freudian, like 'I'm not going to stand for this!'"), the crowd on the mall chanting "na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye" when Bush came outside, Michelle's fitness ("this is the first First Lady to bring attention to the upper body . . . appearance"), and misuse of celebrity (Beanie Babies of the First Daughters). 'Best Week Ever' has me cracking up today. A couple things I noticed but upon which I haven't heard news commentary:

1. How fast Bush ran up the stairs of his helo ("seeya, suckers!!!")
2. Obama's speech focused on individual responsibility . . . yet his plans for government assistance are going to screw those of us who already understand and practice individual responsibility.
3. Caroline Kennedy's withdrawal from Senate consideration. Perhaps she took a good look at her charming uncle, collapsing at Inaugural lunches with a scandalous history, a drinking problem, and a brain tumor, and said, "um, hell no!"

What an interesting world. I am excited to leave the one I know and see some different places. We'll see what's up in the D-C when I get back.

Seeya in March. God bless!

Inaugural Thoughts

It's happening right now. I'm watching on TV from home after an awesome weekend in one of the greatest cities on Earth, a city which is the seat of the democracy of this wonderful country. A city which has been celebrating for days, opening its arms to its citizens from near and far, a city that can (impossibly) simultaneously facilitate a mass gathering and put itself on lockdown.

I love it here. I love being able to step out of a metro and look around me, and see my nation's monuments to our founding fathers against the sky, always inspiring all of us to reach higher and stay true to what really matters.

Last night I went to my first Inaugural Ball. As my date and I walked to the venue, we had a spectacular view of the Capitol Dome, illuminated and covered with flags. It was quite an image with which to start the evening, and we discussed how, politics aside, democracy is the real cause for celebration today. Every four years, really every two when you think about it, America celebrates democracy's birthday by exercising our right to elect new leaders. A transition is exciting not only because of the individuals taking oaths, but the symbol they represent: an evolving, changing country that requires updating, upgrading, and acceptance of progress.

I love George W. Bush and always will. He will always be "my" president. I voted for him during college and was criticized for it by my liberal theatre friends: "Don't you want a job when you graduate????" Of course I did, but it wasn't on the stage. I knew I wanted to serve my country by working for the government. I wanted to be involved in making this country better, and I refused to be one of so many people I knew who would complain about the country for days straight but never DO anything to change it. I voted my dreams that election, and I was proud. And I am fortunate that my dreams came true. Bush 43 was my Commander in Chief when I entered civil service and he will always be my first real boss. I love and respect him for keeping my country safe for the past 8 years despite very, very bad men wanting to do us harm. Because of my work, I know things that most Americans don't know, think about, or even imagine . . . and I respect the man who has guided us the best he could through many trials and done what he felt was right (and stood up for it).

The president's job is not to provide us with everything we need to be happy. It is to preserve our freedoms so that WE can pursue what makes us happy. One of those freedoms is our safety, our life itself. Bush 43 had the cajones to stand up for that. I think Obama does too.

President Obama is not, as my parents seem to think, the anti-Christ. However, he is certainly not the Messiah, either. We simply must be realistic about what is really in this humble man's power to accomplish, and we must also accept that change will take time. January 21st is not going to be much different for us, and July 21st might not be either. But we cannot be fickle and turn our backs on our leader when we fail to receive instant gratification. Obama cited the scripture himself: "The time has come to cast off childish things."

America, if you want your change, now is the time. It is everyone's responsibility to make things better. Let's see what we're all made of.

"It Was a Very Good Year . . . "

Another one gone by. I am looking forward to it being over. This year had one too many kicks in the teeth, right up to today, and I'm ready for it to be done.

A musical I know asks, "How do you measure a year?" If a year is measured in how much you stretched yourself, how much you felt, how much you loved . . . then it's been a very good year. It had a great start. It had some amazing times. It brought a few changes; some welcome, some not. And I can honestly say that the changes have made me stronger, more in touch with myself, and more aware in general. I've felt a million emotions very deeply; I cried, I laughed, I raged, I simmered, I loved, I loathed, I played, I played it safe. I fell off a wagon and climbed on another. There were firsts and lasts.

My, what a year can bring.

My new year's resolutions? Pretty simple.

• GET NEW ASSIGNMENT AT WORK. Escape the clutches of evil and drama. Be free! But in the meantime . . .
• Survive remaining months in office by taking as much time off and training as possible.
• Avoid stabbing coworkers in face.
• Get rid of people I honestly don't like that are cluttering up my life.
• Keep up workout regiment.
• VEGAS!

And most importantly . . . keep my soul intact. Keep my heart safe and strong, keep my love ready to give, keep the smiling little girl inside as the guiding force on how I see the world. I won't give in to a world that is trying to suffocate the good and break me down.

Happy 2009, folks! I wish you the best this year and always.

Catch Up (or, Life Back In the Twilight Zone)

Hello! Time to bring you all up to speed on the holiday season and life in my alternate universe!

Thanksgiving at home was great. There was a snowstorm that created the perfect winter wonderland. Now, if only we could have such perfect snow at Christmas . . .

The class reunion was pretty much what I expected. Folks look pretty much the same, and mostly that is a great thing! There were only a couple people I didn't recognize immediately. It was really great to catch up and see people. I'm hoping it will reestablish some good old friendships.

In addition to the reunion, my old group of girls got together for a Friday night out to the new bar in our sleepy little hometown, which just a year or so ago approved allowing liquor licenses within the borough . . . consequently, it is no longer a "dry" town. And halleluiah! The bar was quite fun, and refreshingly inexpensive. Me and my girls had a hilarious time. There were shots, pictures, stories, dancing, and even karaoke. I was DD and got everyone home safely.

Stats from the weekend:

• Social/family events: 3
• Alcohol units consumed: 11
• Questions regarding my relationship status: 7

Overall pretty good.

I drove back to VA in the rain and crappy traffic, listening to the Steelers whallop the Patriots (yesssss!). Got home and proceeded to have quite an odd night - which involved getting butt-dialed at 0200 and hearing some things I really could have lived without hearing. It was therefore NOT a good Monday. The week didn't get a whole lot better, but it sure ended oddly . . .

I was invited to a guy friend's place, he wanted to make me dinner. So I went, and we enjoyed a tasty meal and a dip in the hot tub outside in the cold air. He is an odd one, which I've known all along. But I absolutely did not expect we'd spend the whole night discussing . . . (ahem) . . . sex. He wanted to know everything about me and supplied the same information about himself. We even looked at less-than-wholesome internet material sitting on his bed. And while he never laid a hand on me except our hugs hello and goodbye, he gave me the most direct proposition I've ever received. Flat out: "If you decide you want to, I'm game" (in so many words). I responded that I was flattered, but I was absolutely not "there" with him, and I needed us to only be friends right now. As is usually the case with my boys, he's left the area not to return for a few months. I'm thankful for that because the whole thing just about knocked me off a cliff.

Oh - let's not forget that this is just another example of ridiculous incestuousness in my life: he is the ex-fling of one of my girlfriends . . . and the last guy Stupider dated prior to settling for Stupid. Can somebody please write me out of this ludicrious sitcom already?????

Speaking of whom . . . if I can trust my ears - the Stupids are preggo. There is simply no end to this insanity. Perhaps my wish that they will have triplets will come true, but I'll settle for both of them getting fat (well, him getting fatter that is).

This past week also kicked my ass across town. I worked like a slave and rewarded myself with a nice relaxing weekend. I had a lovely lunch with an old friend who conveniently owns a tux, and will be my date for the Inaugural Ball. I had pizza/movie night in with my cuddle buddy, who is simply damn adorable. He even went out in the cold to bring my car to the door for me when I left; how sweet is that? I hit the "Little Black Dress" party and got to hear a live acoustic set by GAVIN ROSSDALE!!!! It was great. He did his new single, plus "Comedown" and "Glycerine," and even covered U2's "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses."

I am looking forward to this week (my last full one at work for a while, yay!) to get my Christmas shopping done. I'm in the Christmas spirit for sure after going to a church-sponsored sing-along of Handel's "Messiah" this afternoon. It's a glorious and happy time of year and I'm going to soak up every minute!

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

Something to November

The leaves have fallen. I reach for sweaters and not tank tops. I lace up my Dr. Martens, not slip into my Birkenstocks. I leave the house early to warm up the car and dash from the parking lot to my desk, not stroll to enjoy the morning. I run on a treadmill so my ears don't freeze. I turn my face to the sun and soak up all the rays I can, when I can, because it seems I never know when I'll see it again.

Winter is here.

At least I can get a little more sun than I did in PA.

I've been busy since my last blog. I went shopping and treated myself to a massage. I had a date. I hunted real estate since the season is so good, looking at 9 places in the past 2 weeks, 4 of which are promising. I partied with some new friends (and JunkFood!). I had a lovely dinner with my favorite ex-boyfriend (no, I don't hate all of them). I had a girl-date. I had two guy-friend-dates. I worked a lot. I had another date. I welcomed home one of my girls with a ride to her car and a cup of coffee and lots of girl-talk. I finally got my hair back to its relatively normal color, plus a slightly different cut (think a shorter version of Shannen Dougherty - it looks dark enough to make me look mildly goth and I might play w/ that at work tomorrow).

And something happened that hasn't happened for a year . . .

I got flowers.

I got flowers!!!! I promise I will only "girl-out" for two sentences despite wanting to gush volumes . . .

1. Flowers are simply a really nice thing.

2. I like to get them, not all the time, but occasionally.

OK, done. And sure, o reader, I'll give you what you really want . . .

Yes, the dates were good. Excellent, in fact. They're very cool guys and I had a lot of fun. One is even a Steelers fan from 'da Burgh.

But neither of them has the smile that the flowers saw before the sender clicked "SUBMIT ORDER." Neither of them has the laugh I miss. Neither of them has the sweetness to laugh off a ridiculous night of celebratory drinking or to hang my towel closer to the shower door. Neither of them knows what songs I sing when I blow-dry my hair. Neither of them are quite there.

Yep, I'm a sap. But I've found someone who's very important to me and that's just how it is. I don't know if it's love, or forever, but it makes me smile now. And that's all I need. Be safe out there, Goldilocks. I'll be missing you.

I'm off to PA this week for some family holiday time and my high school class reunion. No doubt this will be an adventure, and I will post a count of alcohol units consumed (if I manage to keep track, that is!)