Ha!

I'm not sure what I was expecting today. I hadn't really formulated a plan beyond "SHOW NO PAIN" . . . but he didn't have the balls to talk to me at all before, why would he have the balls to talk to me at all now? There was nothing said, and there wasn't even eye contact. I couldn't even tell you what color shirt he was wearing, much less if the brown shoes are still around. We contentedly ignored each other ALL day, just doing our work.

I'm not letting the guard down, but I'm not expecting anything from him. I'm also not initiating anything. What is there to say that is not trite, patronizing, or a flat out lie? And furthermore . . . why make it any more of an issue than it already is? Why fuel the drama that he threw ME into? I'm so done. My lips are sealed.

Regarding my goals:

Stand/sit up straight: check
Avoid vomiting (in front of anyone): while mildly nauseated when he walked in, I held it down!
Look good (if not fabulous): check. Classic black & white, Barbie pink pedicure peeking out of classy sandals, ponytail, and Tiffany butterfly.
Get some work done: check.
Smile: check.
Smile some more: my face almost hurts.
Engage someone for drinks after work toasting my success in the previous goals: Dusty's picking me up in 20 mins.

Excellent work. Tomorrow: just another day. Warrior mode will be sustained for the time being. Silence is golden.

And quite productive, might I add.

"Then we will fight in the shade . . . "

Just finished watching 300 with a fabulous Riesling. Blogging with a buzz is the closest I get to "freewrites" back in high school.

Tomorrow is going to be the hardest day I've faced at work in a long time (the enemies' arrows are close to blocking out the sun), but I've prepared myself as best I can . . . getting in touch with my inner warrior (really, 300 is the best thing EVER for that), preparing to fight and if not conquer, at least go down swinging. I'm also focusing on the amazing weekend I spent with my real-life Warrior. And today I rewarded myself with my first Tiffany gift:

Hooray for me!

Goals for tomorrow:

• Stand/sit up straight.
• Avoid vomiting (in front of anyone).
• Look good (if not fabulous).
• Get some work done.
• Smile.
• Smile some more.
• Engage someone for drinks after work toasting my success in the previous goals.

I miss my best friend, as I could SO use one of his pep talks tonight.

One look in my enemy's eye, and I will know everything I need to know. It's been over a year and he thinks the battle is on his turf . . . but I've already taken the beach. A LONG time ago. I don't have to work with him. HE has to work with ME.

There's an old country song I've been reminded of since this whole mess began:

"Oh, that's a mighty long way to go . . . "

The whole FYH4M mindset is not about what short-term gratification you can rub in another person's face. It's about underlying power, about the long term. The battle may produce one outcome, but the war is long.

I can do this. I will do this. And I will never, ever, look back.

Lucky Charms Birth Control

Well, I am safely back in the country again. This most recent trip was also super-fun. I, again, learned a lot, made some good friends, annoyed my bosses at home just enough so they wouldn't forget about me, and survived wearing the same 6 shirts, 5 pairs of pants, and 3 pairs of shoes for 6 weeks. I met cute boys, partied like a rockstar, and learned that extreme heat affects my body in a similar way as taking shots of tequila. It was great. I love my work.

So, what has changed in the last 2 months? A few little things. Stupid ex and Stupider coworker (hmm, new nicknames perhaps? I'm still working on finding a good set. Stupid & Stupider? Linus and Lucy? Mr. & Mrs. Jack.Ass?) tied the knot in Vegas a week or so after I left. She bought her wedding dress online. Classy, let me tell you. And let's not forget the emails she cc'd the whole office on alerting our HR to her name change. When I go back to work next Tuesday, Mr. will be hanging in my office till he finds a new assignment, and Mrs. will be back on Thursday. So I'll be sharing office space with BOTH parts of the happy couple. Does this kind of crap happen to anyone else? I swear, it's worse than a bad episode of Friends.

Also, my former friend Where's Dessert has taken Troll back, saying he's going to have to make up for everything. Riiiiight. I am very relieved that I am no longer part of that drama. Unfortunately, it's only a matter of time before his jackassery takes over and he hurts her again, so I'm sure my phone will ring then. I just hope it's not in 2 years when there's an expensive wedding and a kid involved. Please, God . . .

Not much has changed for me personally. I've been enjoying my well-earned time off, just shopping and running errands. All the boys are behaving (they missed me while I was gone), but I had to let one of them know the game is over. Hated to do it over email but he lives in Jersey so seeing each other would take significant effort, which would have been wasted if it was just going to end. He was getting very jealous and his temper made me really uneasy. I told him once before that if we stayed together, we'd probably hit or scream at each other since we both have such firey dispositions. Best end it now before things got too serious. Anyway, I have the one who's in first place coming to see me this weekend. VERY excited to see him. He tells me I'm beautiful and that he misses me. I'm a simple girl, I don't need much more than that!

So, I wake up early thinking about him, stumble out to get myself a bowl of Lucky Charms and get online to start off yet another day. I pop my BC pill out of the pack and set it on the stove, pick it up for transport to the living room . . . and it slips through my fingers and drops into my bowl of Lucky Charms. D'OH! I fish for it with my spoon to no avail. Now, if there's one thing I hate, it's the lukewarm, blue milk at the end of a bowl of Lucky Charms. I have no choice today but to eat the cereal, then fish for the pill, which is half-dissolved. So that means I have to pour MORE cereal in to absorb the milk (just can't do it straight) to make sure as much of the pill as possible gets into my system. I just finished it and I feel kind of ill. Again, I must ask, does this crap happen to other people??? I have to laugh, there's nothing else you CAN do!

Some sound bytes from the last trip:

• "I'm not drunk, I'm sedated from my pain."
• "He's gayer than a football bat."
• "Here, the dust is so thick, you don't need sunscreen."
• "I love dust! The best part is flossing it out of my teeth."
• On why we can get away with just about anything: "What are they going to do, send me to a war zone? I'm already here!"
• "If you're not a little bit frustrated here, you're not working hard enough."
• "There's always time for lubricant!"
• "I kinda have a hamster in my brain."
• "I know I"m being filmed. That's why I'm keeping my pants on."
• "TOC - where fun goes to die!"
• "Frankenrocket!"
• "It takes guts to be nuts!"
• "You know you're here when you sleep in a trailer and work in a palace."

Good times, let me tell you. But the most valuable thing I learned was . . .

Loaded Coronas.

Take a Corona, sip it down a little so it's mid-neck full. Top off with a shot of Bacardi Limon rum. Seal the top with your thumb or hand and invert bottle to mix (same as you do normally). Sip and enjoy. Repeat until room spins.

Peace out.