It's Halloween!

Once a year, you have to determine your answer to one of life's most important questions:

"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

I am definitely a bad witch.

Because bad witches have more fun.

I am so excited for today. Yes, I will probably look a little out of place at work in my costume, but how much more appropriate for my work could my "Wicked Witch of the Middle East" costume be? I also take pride wearing it in my office, where the drama is high and I am seen as a witch anyway. After work I'll be heading into the city for drinks and dinner, followed by a performance by my favorite local/cover band. Yay!

I hope everyone out there has a spookaliscious Halloween! Enjoy yourself and don't let the kids have all the fun!

What Friends Are Made Of

It's not for the weak or the ambivalent.

If you want to be called my friend, this is what's expected:

• Honesty. If you know something that I don't, and it pertains to me, you have to tell me. No matter how much you don't want to, and no matter how you think I'll react.
• Brutal Honesty. If I ask you something, don't lie to me. Even if it makes me look fat, I want to know.
• Intelligence. Don't ask me questions if whatever answer I give won't even possibly change your mind.
• Empathy. When I am down, try and pick me up. If you can't, get down on the ground with me until I can stand.
• Loyalty. If I'm right, stand by me. If I'm wrong, tell me and help me see why.
• Care. I don't mind if we don't talk every day, or every week, but when something wonderful, or terrible, happens in your life, let me share it with you.
• Humility. Tell me when you hurt, and I will do everything I can to heal you.
• Understanding. I am a little nuts . . . but not more so than your average person. Maybe I am even less crazy than you. Accept me for who I am, and accept that I try to change what I can.
• Love. I am a loving person, and I have a lot to give. You must be able to love me back, and love others.
• (For the boys:) Platonicism. The basis of a cupcake is the cake, not the icing or sprinkles. If we have a friendship that leads to sparks, how lucky we are indeed. But passion fades, and friendship can last forever. Our friendship should be strong regardless of what we do or don't do.
• Help. Think of The Godfather. Healthy exchanges of influence when requested with grace. I will do whatever I can for you, and I expect the same.

And as I posted a while back, I will not hold others to standards I cannot meet myself. If you can do the above things, I will do them for you with everything I have. I will do them happily, for a true friend.

In my life right now, I've acquired some companions who are not true friends. My naivete sometimes fools me into believing I can be friends with everyone I meet, even when we have little in common or circumstances change over long periods of time. This is simply not true. Some people require a buffer of space, something I've learned the hard way many, many times. Some people are pure evil. Some people manipulate, using others only to validate themselves. Some hate themselves and can only find satisfaction in taking others down with them.

Maybe these folks have never known the blessing of true friendship, which is really sad to me. I have experienced it more than I deserve. And I maintain that to call people "friends" who don't truly deserve the title, is an insult to the true ones. It's as simple as a turn of phrase.

They are not friends. They are acquaintences. Auxiliaries. Companions. Passerby. And by the end of the year, they are going to be put in their place.

To my real friends out there - I know you're there because I wouldn't share this blog with you otherwise - I love you, and I promise I will show it as often as I can, and as often as you need.

Thank you for being part of my life.

Roaming Gnome

Since 12 September, I have transited exactly 12 airports, and four of them more than once. I have been across the country and to the other side of the world. I leave tomorrow for yet another excursion across the country.

I love to travel. Obviously. I can't get enough of seeing new places and new faces, of being gawked at as a stranger, of trying new foods (and praying they don't jack my stomach up!) of shopping in strange markets and stores, of exploring hotels, of seeing new terrain that has been more beautiful than I ever thought possible.

I saw mosaics, mountains, art, and one of the true wonders of the ancient world and can only thank God I had the opportunity.

I heard a few funny things along the way:

• "Excuse me, Mr. Ambassador, may I use your can?"
• "I'm eating the pork as cover."
• "Infidel cooties are the worst kind."
• Person 1: "You're gonna miss me someday!" Person 2: "When, after I kill you??"
• "I quit this bitch."

I also learned a few things, as one truly should while traveling:

• When someone says a person has a "very dry sense of humor," it really means that the person referred to is a complete asshole, and the speaker is too nice to say so.
• Even perfect people make mistakes (delicious knowledge for those of us who can't ever seem to get stuff right!). I heard the story of Mrs. Stupider giving a big briefing and concluding with " . . . and that's our office in a nutbag."
• Always bring an extra bag when you are going on a trip. You never know what you might find in your shopping adventures.
• An hour-long climb of 800+ steps in 85-degree heat is not nearly as fun as it may seem, but it's worth the subsequent two days of pain to see amazing views and ruins.
• Jet lag sucks. It will make you doze off in meetings despite actually caring and listening, and it will rise you at 0400 when all you want to do is sleep.
• I really, really, don't want to go into work today. I want to go shopping, eat everything in sight, and get pretty for my visit with my hottie this weekend.

I guess I'll settle for wearing heels, styling my hair, putting on lipstick, and visiting Starbucks, all of which I have not experienced for 2 weeks. I may travel around the world, but returning to my daily life often seems like the biggest adventure.