Roaming Gnome

Since 12 September, I have transited exactly 12 airports, and four of them more than once. I have been across the country and to the other side of the world. I leave tomorrow for yet another excursion across the country.

I love to travel. Obviously. I can't get enough of seeing new places and new faces, of being gawked at as a stranger, of trying new foods (and praying they don't jack my stomach up!) of shopping in strange markets and stores, of exploring hotels, of seeing new terrain that has been more beautiful than I ever thought possible.

I saw mosaics, mountains, art, and one of the true wonders of the ancient world and can only thank God I had the opportunity.

I heard a few funny things along the way:

• "Excuse me, Mr. Ambassador, may I use your can?"
• "I'm eating the pork as cover."
• "Infidel cooties are the worst kind."
• Person 1: "You're gonna miss me someday!" Person 2: "When, after I kill you??"
• "I quit this bitch."

I also learned a few things, as one truly should while traveling:

• When someone says a person has a "very dry sense of humor," it really means that the person referred to is a complete asshole, and the speaker is too nice to say so.
• Even perfect people make mistakes (delicious knowledge for those of us who can't ever seem to get stuff right!). I heard the story of Mrs. Stupider giving a big briefing and concluding with " . . . and that's our office in a nutbag."
• Always bring an extra bag when you are going on a trip. You never know what you might find in your shopping adventures.
• An hour-long climb of 800+ steps in 85-degree heat is not nearly as fun as it may seem, but it's worth the subsequent two days of pain to see amazing views and ruins.
• Jet lag sucks. It will make you doze off in meetings despite actually caring and listening, and it will rise you at 0400 when all you want to do is sleep.
• I really, really, don't want to go into work today. I want to go shopping, eat everything in sight, and get pretty for my visit with my hottie this weekend.

I guess I'll settle for wearing heels, styling my hair, putting on lipstick, and visiting Starbucks, all of which I have not experienced for 2 weeks. I may travel around the world, but returning to my daily life often seems like the biggest adventure.