10 Things I Learned In the Past Few Days

1. Women must hate themselves and hate their feet more, because shoe shopping is just . . . I don't know, masochistic. Seriously - who wears these shoes??? I don't know any hookers, but there is no WAY most of these shoes can be worn while working at any other profession.
2. The only way Stupid and I can speak is when we don't realize who we are talking to. We almost ran into each other (literally), and we both said 'excuse me' and smiled - and then we realized who the other was after the fact . . . and both just kept walking. That is so fucked up, and sad as well.
3. The Bachelorette is painful to watch because the guys are pretty cute and all but one of them are going to get their hearts crushed.
4. It's also painful because Jillian is, well . . . kind of, like, dumb. But at least she's giving brunettes a place on prime time.
5. The Bachelorette is also hilarious to watch, because the guys are all dressed up and trying to impress Jillian, but when they all get into the same room, the claws come out and they start to strangely remind me of the insecure, catfighting girls on Rock of Love.
6. The only thing better than boarding a plane and escaping your evil boss is watching her board a plane to leave YOU.
7. If I ever get married, I'm doing the simplest, lowest maintenance wedding ever. Twenty minutes in David's Bridal on a Saturday morning made me realize I AM JUST NOT THAT GIRL.
8. Slippery slopes are hard to stop on. And even harder to climb back up.
9. Only calling while at a conference, blaming a 'messed up cell phone,' and disappearing for weeks at a time, are causes for suspicion. I think there's a girlfriend.
10. Second kisses are definitely better than first ones. :)